Am I Charitable?

I struggle with the concept of charitable organizations. Often the portrayal of people in need tugs at my heart strings. But why? Do I feel guilty because I have a better situation? Do I feel remorse for the individual? The reason I wonder about this is because I want to understand my motivations for helping. I don’t want to be coerced out of guilt, nor do I want to ignore my own humanity.

Many situations are beyond my capability to comprehend without actually being there. The terrible genocide that takes place in many nations, drought, starvation, war, homelessness all are things that I really have no way of understanding. I can see the need for organizations to show me the worst of these, and the way their organization makes it better. But the long and short is that it is manipulation of my emotions. And I don’t appreciate being manipulated.

But without that manipulation would I even pay attention? Likely not. It would be easy to live in my little world and have that other side of life pass me by. So how can I resolve this within myself? The problems seem overwhelming, and my efforts feel small. I also doubt the ability of the organization to change anything. They seem only to bring some relief, like a cold compress put on a feverish child. It bring some relief, but does not cure the illness.

Is it too much to expect these organizations to cure the illness? Yes it is. Is it the humane thing to do to help support those organizations that bring some relief? Of course. But it seems to me that I need to also find those organizations that are trying to find a cure. Bringing awareness to the world of the problems that exist is one aspect. But how much should I hold our leaders and ourselves to change the way things work?

I sometimes think that the organizations that bring awareness to the issues also give us a moral way to check out. I can give our money, donate a few hours a week, and go on with my life knowing that the little I have done is at least something, and all I can do is what I can do. But there is so much more. What about politics? What about spending time understanding the issues, researching, challenging organizations and leaders to look at things differently? I need to challenge myself to determine how to be involved in a way that I can affect change, no matter how slight, in the system. I need to help “break the fever” instead of providing temporary relief.

How do I do this? I am not sure. I know that I will not see an end to anything that I choose to fight against in my lifetime. I can only hope to see movement. Perhaps I merely need to choose a cause to learn about, find an organization that wants to truly try and cure the underlying disease and work towards that goal. And work means more than just giving some money or some time. It means putting my heart and soul into it.

I guess in the long run I need to validate my humanity not by resolving my guilt about my own blessings but by choosing to celebrate them. I need to clarify my own values and beliefs, and bring my full effort into manifesting these into the work I do.