The Non-Self Help Book

I can't believe I haven't posted for so long. 

Years ago I started writing a book called "The Non-Self Help Book".  The concept of the book was that you didn't need to follow all those self-help books which orchestrated a specific way to discover "happiness".  My point was you shouldn't feel bad if a particular approach doesn't work because we all need to find our own.

As I move forward on this journey I realize that in writing the book, I would of ironically created the very thing I warned about.  So I decided to summarize what the book was going to say here.

We all have the answers inside of us.  Books may show us different techniques, but ultimately the choice is ours.  Ask questions, dig into yourself and you will discover the truth that lies with in you.  Do not let the constructs you were brought up with and have lived with limit the potential inside.  This is truly "self" help.

Pretty simple.  I can't believe I thought I could write a whole book about that.  Of course the words are much easier than the deeds.  The work does take reading and discovery, finding words that help you find that which lies within.

But never be discouraged if you try a practice and it doesn't work.  It's why it's called practice.  Not all artists are good in everything.  There are musicians, artists, poets, etc.  Inside each of these there are specialties.  And the best of the best always took a while to find just the right voice for themselves. 

In the same way we discover the art within we are good at.  It helps us discover our true potential.  So have fun with the discovery.  And you will discover the basis of self-help is self. 

Occupy Movement and Frustration

I will apologize ahead of time. This blog will be more of a stream of thought type thing that really won't be completely edited. So let the rambling begin.

First let me say that the Occupy movements have had a significant impact in reestablishing the need for the populace to speak their mind through free speech. It has been refreshing to see people with passion stating their minds so publicly.

That being said, I feel that the attack on specific businesses, primarily banks. to be missing the boat. Besides having no clear objective or answers many in the movement itself has varying opinions and viewpoints. This is not a concentrated effort and therefore for many mainstream Americans it loses validity.

I believe though that they have hit upon something I have been contemplating for years. What they are really looking for is human compassion in the way we deal with each other. The lack of compassion is something that is not inherent to our large banks but also is lacking in most of our businesses. What we should be attacking is how our economic system rewards businesses that make money at all costs without regard to human compassion.

A fundamental switch is needed in our global culture to reward businesses that are willing to "break even" instead of firing staff to make projected financial goals. We need to reward businesses for contributing to the well-being of nations.

In a way we need to have our businesses no matter the size become what we had years ago in our neighborhoods. Businesses that knew their neighbors and cut them a break when times were hard. We need our leaders in politics to get rid of the partisan bullshit and start working from compassion.

The reality is if all our decisions came from compassion for our fellow humans, we would make choices that would benefit all. And perhaps our concept of success would by nature change that way.

Unfortunately this is a large undertaking and not something that can happen by legislation. It has to happen within each of us. We need to treat each other, even those we disagree with, with compassion and understanding. We need to take the responsibility unto ourselves to live a life of compassion, not one of greed.

It will take many years, but if we start now, and start teaching and modeling for our children a life of compassion, we may have a chance to put leaders in place to slowly change our reality.

Connection to all of you.

Balancing and Falling

Recently I read a book by Richard Rohr called "Falling Upward". It talked about moving to the second half of life. At this time in my life, I feel that I am moving into that second half as he describes it. This is becoming more and more apparent to me as I struggle with the feeling of unease I have in my job.

At this point, I am thankful for my job and I don't have the feeling I had years ago of needing to get out now. But I now realize that I am balancing myself between how I view life and how life needs to be viewed when working for a corporation.

Our whole first half of life is balance. Work/family/self all needs to be allocated a proper amount of time. We often hear of work/life balance in our jobs. We hear about the need to have "me" time, to exercise. spend time with kids etc. We balance between all these demands to create our life and raise our families.

But for me, the balance is very unstable. Like walking a tight rope outside in a strong wind. Back and forth, trying to stay on the rope. I think now I view the second half of life as falling off that rope, getting my feet on the ground, and not balancing life between the shoulds.

Maybe it's not even being on the ground. Maybe it is bouncing in the net, reveling in the freedom of not needing to balance. Maybe it is looking up at the sky and breathing freely, not worrying about falling off the tightrope because I am already off it.

It is my time now, to live and create life in the way I desire. No need to be awkward trying to balance but just enjoying the feeling of the fact that now that I am off the wire I can look at life without the worry of the fall.

Constructs as Cocoons

Had a brief thought today. People like using the caterpillar to butterfly analogy to describe a process of metamorphosis from one thing to another. I started to think about that some more and it seems to me the analogy goes much deeper.

I like to think that when we are born we are like the caterpillar. We come into the world hungry and exploring, exposed to dangers we don't really comprehend. We crawl and discover, eating and growing.

But from the moment we are born we begin to learn the ways of the world. Society teaches us what we can and can't do, what is acceptable and not. And as we feed on this we get full and build our cocoon.

I don't believe it is an inevitability that we will emerge from the cocoon as a butterfly. We may not emerge at all. The cocoon is built of all the constructs of how we were taught to view the world. We see the world through its walls. It is safe and comfortable. Why would we leave?

As we question things the walls of the cocoon may thin. This lets our view of the world change. But are we willing to break through this final construct and emerge? That is where it takes faith in yourself. Faith that what you are seeing is where you need to be.

Can we break through our constructs of this world and emerge as a butterfly? Do we even want to? These are questions that each person has to answer for themselves.

Technology - Is It a River or a Sinkhole

I was thinking today about the timeless and pretty much perfect analogy of life as a river, flowing sometimes slow, sometimes fast but always moving forward. And then of all things I started to think of technology.

On the surface technology has moved forward on a journey similar to that of the river, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always moving, always changing.

But underneath, is it really a river. I would contend that it is a double edged sword. The explosive nature of our current society's quest for a meaningful spirituality has been aided significantly by technology. But is it because of technology that such a need arose?

More and more the basis of all our machines is the computer. Unless you are buying basic garden equipment, a shovel for example, you can hardly get away from owning something without a chip. Even the shovel was probably designed for optimum digging. Computers are pretty basic at their core, 0/1 and any infinite possible combination thereof. In addition data is shared in packets, not in one coherent stream. The assumption is the 0/1 doesn't care about a single stream of thought, only getting it from one place to another.

It concerns me that we are trusting our selves more and more to a 0/1 mentality. Think of the analogies, black/white, on/off, and last but not least right/wrong. I believe that is contrary to our river of life. A river that is fluid and constant.

It feels to me that government, business, and even individual groups are becoming more and more a 0/1 collective. They don't see nor accept the gray.

But gray is what life is about isn't it? We are all questing, flowing with the river and discovering new currents that always teach us if we are willing to learn. So the 0/1 is contrary to what we as humans need. We need the gray.

So we search for a new spirituality that will let us keep our technology, but also allow us to be more than a 0/1 society.

But is is hard to swim against that current of technology.

Peace friends.

Muck Inspired Poetry

My recent visit with Muck inspired the following brief bit of poetry

But...

I complain, whine, philosophize.
But the sun is going to blow up.

Work seems unbearable.
But the sun is going to blow up.

Countries are at war. Crime is everywhere.
But the sun is going to blow up.

When can I retire?
But the sun is going to blow up.

What is my real purpose in life?
But the sun is going to blow up.

What is the meaning of life.
The sun is going to blow up.

Love

For many years I have pondered the possibility of two different aspects of love, love as a verb and love as a noun. I would define love as a verb as something more akin to an emotion. We use phrases like “I love him like a son” or “I love him like a brother” which seems to define love as an emotional state with distinct feelings and relationships associated with it.

I would also argue that there is a higher form of love, one that transcends the emotional and becomes more palpable and beyond emotions. This love unites us all so there is no more “loves like” but only love. In this love state it is no longer just an emotion but a description of a constant thing, thus becoming a noun.

But I was wrong in thinking that love as a noun transcends love as a verb. I realized this when I started to see the bigger picture in examining our relationships with life.

We are not our emotions. But we certainly have emotions, sometimes very strong ones. These often govern our reaction to a situation. We fall into love and out of love. We get angry, sad, and happy. All of these are reactions to specific situations or relationships – reactions that we can manage how we choose.

Many people like to remove love from the list of emotions. They like to think that love is not a mere emotion but comes from a more “holy” place. Love gets romanticized and made into what life is about. Certainly I did this when I split it into noun and verb. But I see now that love is just an emotion.

So if emotions, including love, reflect reactions, what are we reacting to? I believe now we that we react to something very primal in our nature. We react to a connection we feel but then internalize and attach emotions to. For instance, one may not like members of their family, but almost always would help them it they asked. This connection is something we can’t define but just is.

If we could learn to not attach emotions to this connection, we could experience our reactions to people or situations for what they really are, not how they appear to us in our mind. This connection is truly beyond words. But I believe in order to understand it we need to “devolve” in our thinking. Our evolution with spoken language and philosophies have gotten in the way of many of our primal understandings.

If we could experience all things at a more base level before we put constructs around what we see, pull it up to our “advanced” mind and tie emotions to it we would discover an underlying “current of connectedness” that reflects how we are related to all things. This connectivity is not about emotions but about something much deeper, much more primal than even words can describe.

I believe by tying our constructs of words, thoughts, emotions etc. onto this connectedness so we can define it to our mind, we are prevented from experiencing life. So let go of emotions and reactions and try to see how the current flows. It isn’t an easy journey, but certainly one worth trying.

Connectedness to you all!!