Miscellaneous Thoughts

So today I decided to go in and help prepare the food for the Sunday afternoon meal. Joe invited me to come, so I thought I would try. I realized that I really need to start being present here, become involved with both my co-volunteers and the La Puente system in general. My goal is to let go and discover, but I realized I am still clinging to my past. Damn cell phones make it easy to call people anytime, anyplace. It can become a habit. I need to move into the present, live with my decision, and not keep second guessing myself. I figure if I don’t call people every day I it will help. I also think once I get more busy, my focus will change.

I also decided that I need to build a better “nest”. These pictures are of my room, from the hallway looking in and from the door to the deck looking back.

It is more comfortable to me now than it was when I first came here (imagine in these pictures a queen size mattress on top of a straw bed). I found some paint so now I can get rid of the red trim. Then to the walls.

We went to a drive-in last night. Saw “The Dark Knight” again. It is a cool movie, and the struggle in defining the baseness of man is interesting. There are those who will move to the lowest means possible to survive, as the heads of the mob do, and there are those who show true understanding of the sanctity of human life, as the convict on the boat does. It also shows that past decisions don’t need to define who we want to be now. Again the convict is a good example of this. Batman himself struggles with this. By battling the crime in the city he created an environment for Joker to thrive. But had he not fought crime, criminals would run the city. He can only make a decision based on the moment, not on all past events. What is right now may not seem right later.

Oh well, I am feeling more in tune with myself today. Decided I have to get back to meditation. Made a delicious rhubarb cake with a recipe from my mom with the rhubarb that grows on the side of our house. Scrubbed floors and walls. Today I think I will paint the walls a bit. I need to start functioning in the present. Thank you all for listening. And Gary, Muhammad doesn’t always go to the coffee, sometimes the coffee comes to Muhammad.