Thinking About Thinking About Nothing

As I was walking in this morning, I was watching the birds and looking at trees and it got me to wondering what life would be like if we just were instinctual like animals. I know people like to attribute human characteristics to animals but let's face it, they act primarily out of instinct. So how cool would it be to not think, not really have strong emotions, but be guided by nature?

How would it feel to be a bird soaring through the air? Or a squirrel running around, climbing trees, and getting fried by electric lines? And then the answer came to me. If I were completely instinctual, how would I know? Does a bird flying really think "this is really cool"? Probably not. They are just following the patterns that are genetically implanted.

Of course we can imagine all we want, another thing that would be impossible acting on instinct. So I have decided that acting on instinct is a good thing, but having the emotions and thoughts are also a huge blessing (even though at times they may hurt us). To find a balance between all of nature, our nature, our emotions, and our thoughts seems to be the lesson.

I do understand more and more why believing in yourself and letting life flow through you is the key. I always felt something subtly wrong with the image of us being in a river where we can swim with or against the current. I like to take the concept a little further and think of the river flowing through us, where we merge with life as we learn and become part of the flow, not an object seperate to it.

So as parting words all I can say is "BE THE WATER, FLOW AS THE RIVER FLOWS WITH YOU". Love you all.

I Am Sore

Not angry sore mind you. My body is sore. I worked yesterday with a workgroup of 9th graders and we worked really hard. We broke up several slabs of concrete, all taking much lifting and swinging of sledges. It felt really good to do heavy labor. Always invigorating to be outside. But my body responded this morning with many complaints.

So I have decided to do nothing today but sit in my pajamas, play games, and tip a few brews. Since it is so wonderful out, I did splurge and hang my clothes on the line to dry. And I will need to open my porch door to enjoy the beauty of the day. But all this will be done with minimum movement.

Is this all I have to say? I think so. Generally life is good. I am happy doing what I can do here. Not sure what that will amount to in the long run, but for now it is enough to take each day with joy. My contemplations on things tend to be pretty minimum these days. I have formed new ideas and opinions, but am no closer to defining what to do about them than I was 20 years ago. But that is okay, as I now feel that I understand a little better that which I over-intellectualized.

Love to you all.

Where Am I Going?

If someone could once answer that definitively for me it would be great. I have pretty much given up on the notion of a destination, and have been finding that the journey is becoming more fun. I have been given some more challenges at work, and will likely discover much more about myself in the process. I do know now that I love working to make an organization better (have I said that) much more than I like doing the front line stuff.

It is fun to challenge the way things have always been done, and make processes more efficient in order to better serve the customer. The customer in this case is whoever your business or organization is supposed to service. Makes no difference what business for me, I love trying to make things work better.

So it will be fun to start working with the coffee house and other projects within the umbrella of La Puente. I don't believe changes will be drastic, but I do believe now that maybe I can have some impact before I leave.

Yes, leave. I am not sure if I will extend here for a bit more time or not. It depends on where I get to in terms of what I am doing. I would never give up on something halfway through. But even though my last post may have sounded like I would stay here indefinitely, I certainly will leave here as I see more and more potential in myself and things I can accomplish.

So for now, I guess I don't really need to know where I am going because I am already somewhere. I don't want to trip over the roots in front of me because I can only see the horizon. I am starting to amble a little slower, happy looking up, down, all around taking in the sights at this point in my journey. I am sure the terrain will change, and cause me to adjust, but the only way I can adjust is to notice the current conditions.

Love all. Anytime I feel down now, I think about how blessed (have I written that enough) I have been for all the people who have brought me to this point. I have a meditation CD that has one sentence in it. "Love is the answer."