New Pictures

Check out the new pictures. Particularly the scenes from a rooftop. Those are deer eyes shining with the flash. Could be a UFO though. Also check out the pictures of the Mellotones. I love these people. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.

Show Was a Success

Once again I discover how much I love to perform. Our show was fun to do, and I am hoping the video tape turned out okay and I can procure a copy. Something to remember from my time here. It is interesting how I view one of the best experiences I had here was performing with the Mellotones. All the people involved loved to sing, but what's more important they enjoy their entire life. It is a very positive experience being around these people, and it will live in my memory as a lesson to enjoy the moment.

I still struggle now with the desire to be home. Making the decision to not stay has made me anxious to be back. I don't feel I have that much personally to accomplish here anymore, other than knowing I fulfilled a year commitment. Odd how I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. I think in the past I would of stayed here out of obligation, but I understand now that this organization is pretty stuck in it's ways. There is no outlet for ideas really.

And perhaps that is another lesson for me. Although the corporate structure seems to be stuck, it always seems to me that I had the ability to have a dialogue with my bosses. I could discuss ideas and changes, and though often rejected, at least felt that I was listened to and respected for those thoughts. Here I feel that the dialogue is limited, and often results in answers like "I don't really understand the valley" or "it is too costly". There are positives to corporate structure.

I do finally feel that I know myself better than before. I lose track of me once in a while, but now I feel more confident that I can find and listen to my inner self. I no longer worry about money, and know that if the right job comes along my first question won't be how much does it pay. It will be about the core values and beliefs of the organization. I also know that I don't feel compelled to work for a non-profit. Nor do I feel compelled to work directly with people who need help. I believe my skills lie in vision and planning, so I need to find something, either in work or volunteering, where I can use that along with my convictions of where we have to go as a country. And work with people with similiar convictions. That of course is a whole different blog.

Peace all. I'll be back by August at the latest. And I keep swimming in the beautiful waters of uncertainty. It may be cold, but it keeps you feeling that you are still alive.

Helped My Shower Pass A Stone

Poor thing. Jumped in the shower this morning and the poor guy was suffering the weakest stream. Standing there naked under the dribble of water, I realized that it would take me a long time to rinse. So I turned off the water and unscrewed all the plumbing. I blew it all out and reassembled it. Still weak. I determined the real problem was in the head of the shower, and so I took that apart and pounded it hard several times against my hand. Lo and behold, a large pebble came out. After that the shower's stream was as strong as ever. I completed my shower in sheer delight at the strength of the stream and the happiness expressed by the water droplets coming out of the shower head now that the stone was passed.

Thus life in the valley continues. My days have been busy. My nights have been busy. The Mellotones will be celebrating their 30th anniversary extravaganza in a few weeks. We will be busy rehearsing. Besides being the entertainment, we are also the servers at the pre-program meal. If any of you plan on being in Monte Vista on the 24th or 25th, I can secure tickets for you. Hurry while supplies last.

I am trying hard not to anticipate being home, but it is difficult not to think about it. I think I will try contracting while I try and determine my next steps. Permanent employment seems silly right now as I ponder where the future will take me. Regular employment seems more like a real possibility for me for the future though. A little turn around in my thought patterns has made this at least an option for me.

Peace and love to all. Remember, don't make it personal. Ciao.

It Is Easter

It is snowing. A lot. I feel a bit melancholy. Holidays make me think of my childhood. Traditions and family all looked at in a different light. Maintaining the spark of childhood, yet growing older and seeing things with a bit more knowledge.

I feel ready to move on now. Not sure to what. Certainly whatever it is will become a new learning experience. My wife has been extremely patient with me. Her enduring friendship is something I will always be thankful for.

I am thankful for all who haven't judged but merely asked and accepted.

Perhaps son I can finally move out of the pathed wood and emerge into the field. There are lots of possible implications to such an approach. The major one is that those around you need to expect the unexpected. I don't think that will be a problem for most. Frolicking in the field of life may feel good to the frolicker, but certainly has implications to those who stand around and which him.

It's My Birthday

A time for contemplation. A time for remembering. A time for looking forward. I think back over the past year and it certainly has been eventful for me, as well as others who had to cope with those events. I feel that all these things have definately had an impact on me. Can I quantify that? Likely not.

Changes for me feel subtle. A little more relaxed, a little more forgiving. Have I found answers I was hoping for? I don't really know. I discovered things about myself that I didn't think needed discovering. That is good. Life still is a bit confusing to me, but I actually am starting to enjoy the twists and turns in the road, instead of being a bulldozer and trying to keep the road straight.

I love the way my children have grown. I love who they have become, who they are becoming. I love the way I feel I am growing. I enjoy each morning, afternoon, and evening.

I love the fact that I have many friends who care about me. More than anything, I appreciate more and more meeting each person in an open way, non-judging, trying to accept rather than critique. I am thankful for every gift I have been given in this life.

Thanks for all your birthday wishes. For those who sent cards, thank you. For those who sent presents, thank you. Have a drink for me today.