Decision Has Been Made

Spent much time debating whether I should return in August, or sign on again. I think I mentioned that in a previous post. Well, after deciding not to sign on again, I talked to Todd about contracting for him. Long story short (which is odd for me, normally its' short story long) I will be returning early. As a matter of fact I leave the valley on Friday this week and start work on June 8th.

It was an interesting path deciding to come back early. I realized as I thought about it that at this point I was only staying because of the commitment. I believe what I came here to learn I did, so I knew staying on would be out of obligation. This of course is something I was trying to eliminate in my life, that feeling of obligation, that somehow if I wasn't in whatever situation and helping to shape it, it would go wrong.

I realized this organization was not capable of listening to ideas, expanding the way it thinks. It wasn't necessary for me to try and save it. I believe I have made an impact here, but it is hard to feel that it will carry forward. This of course leads me back to obligation, to try and carry things forward. But I have understood more and more over the past years that you just do your best. It is not your choice how others take what you say. And to get upset over that is silly.

Of course the other reason to stay would be in another Mellotones production. This would almost of been worth it. But the job is extremely boring and monotonous, and it takes too much effort to try to make it better.

So there you go. I am excited about making money again. Odd as it sounds, I think I will like to have a challenging job again. It will be interesting for me to see how I react to working again. If I fall into the trap of frustration, or am just more willing to accept the word "no" easier. I am hoping to do some soul searching (I don't think that will ever stop) and research to find out what next steps are for me. I am hoping to write up a lessons learned, but that particular post may take a while. Also I know that some things I learned are not easy to define.

I will miss everyone here in the valley that I have met. The people I worked with and played with have enriched my life with friendliness and love. I also know I have much to learn from youth (talking 20 somethings). I believe they see things differently than we did at that age. It is certainly an interesting phenomenom.

Love you all, and will be seeing some of you soon.